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This year marks a full decade since the word “ghosting” entered the mainstream. At the time, the concept that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the decade since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more perplexing – an commonly unsuccessful pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly defined by social media lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a coordinated challenge on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown longer and more unhinged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your sanity.

Below is a comprehensive breakdown to the words gen Z is using to discuss love, sex and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the recent most popular memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – In the view of gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's reply is engaged or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This refers to choosing someone who aids you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A date where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes couples who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of playing it cool: embracing dialogue, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks suggesting a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their exes crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits confirm your decision to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, largely benign quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same things or people that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly shut down any sense of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {